Wedding Talk

Engagement season getting you down? How to deal when it seems everyone around you is about to tie the knot

EVERYONE got engaged this Christmas, right?

At least that's what our social media feeds and the physical embodiments of our social media feeds - our mothers - are telling us.

If it's not engagement ring selfie after engagement ring selfie as we scroll mindlessly through Instagram, it's a jolting blast from the past in our Whatsapp group announcing the girl who eat the wood on her desk has found a partner for life.

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Good for her but for a single guy or gal, or even a paired-up but patient partner, it can all feel like everyone is just getting engaged AT YOU.

If engagement season is getting you down, and you are currently feeling a little 'it should have been me', here are some ways to deal with it.

1. Realise it's not the big picture

Instagram posts, Facebook updates, gossip over the garden fence - it's all just small stuff, and you never really know what's going on with people. An engagement is a joyous thing, but you don't know what a couple took to get to the point of marriage, nevertheless it has no bearing on wherever you are in your life whether you're in a relationship or not.

2. Give yourself a break from social media

If the engagement ring pics and saccharine selfies are giving you a pain in the gut, take some time off social media. Delete the apps completely from your phone and mute the Whatsapp groups that aren't priorities. Consider it a 'Dry January' for mind.

3. Concentrate on where you are

It feels like EVERYONE is getting engaged, but they're not. Either way, take the focus off others and look to your own life for a while. Are you killing it in work? Being an amazing listener for a pal who needs it? Have you finally started reading that book you always meant or have you stuck to your new skin-care regime for the past week without forgetting to cleanse before bed? Great. Keep doing what you're doing. And if you're not doing it, start now.

4. Don't compare your relationship with others

If you're in a happy relationship but part of you was expecting the question to be popped by your partner over the festive season, don't lose your marbles. Take a breather, realise that you're happy and reflect on why you're happy. Restrain yourself from taking digs at your partner by commenting about friends who are together for a shorter time than you but are making the big commitment - you'll either end up winding yourself up or causing an argument your relationship might not recover from. If in a few months you still haven't discussed marriage, be mature about it and find our how each other feels instead of being disappointed - or angry - that you've not got a ring on your finger right now. Putting pressure on anyone to do something they aren't ready for is never a good thing, and can sometimes even push the person away.

5. Have a laugh

If you're find yourself knee deep in sickly sweet social expressions of love and romance, use it as a source of humour instead of getting wound up about it. We live in a society that finds it acceptable to Google quotes to use as captions for engagement announcements (which the listical '18 Instagram captions for a Christmas engagement ring' can attest to) so the battle is already won. Check out Instagram's more quirky accounts like 'Not Engaged' - curated by a woman who is 'not engaged but 'okay I promise'. Follower the adventures of her left hand as it makes it through day-to-day without a diamond on its ring finger. If that doesn't cheer you up, we don't know what will!