Follow these seven commandments for a modern marriage and you shan't go too wrong!
• Thou shalt honour thy spouse's dishwasher etiquette. One partner is always more fastidious in this regard, so just adapt to their stacking style and save yourself a lifetime of rows.
• Thou shalt not organise double dates, dinner parties or informal get-togethers without first consulting thy spouse. Everyone has their small talk threshold. Respect it.
• Thou shalt not give the silent treatment. Yes, you feel angry, frustrated and taken for granted, but most well- adjusted people grow out of sulking by the age of 12.
• Thou shalt not snore. Marriages can overcome infidelity, addiction and illness, but snoring is another matter entirely.
• Thou shalt not get legless drunk at thy spouse's Christmas party. Another black mark if you start a conga line.
• Thou shalt not bring work on holiday. While you're busy asking waiters for Wi-Fi codes, your wife is contemplating an early flight home.
• Thou shalt not like thy ex's posts on social media. Nobody is doubting that you're both mature, emotionally evolved adults, but for god's sake, just get with the programme.